I saw David Miscavige yesterday, he had a really bad dye job on his hair. It looked so fake. Externally fake as he seemed as a human being inside. Not that I have met the man, but reading of his deeds has given me the impression that he is disconnected from the lives of the majority of this planet.
His girlfriend/personal assistant Laurise was there too. Also with a bad dye job. Hers was an attempt at jet black, that seemed synthetic, just a hint of blue that never really happens in natural hair in natural light. She made her appearance a few minutes before him, sat in their side by side seats, and smiled demurely when recognized by those who know.
Later I stood next to the matched black chevy SUV's with blacked out windows and obvious mercs inside, till I was noticed.
I noticed when he speaks that it hurts to listen to the senseless strings of words that he so well practicedly speaks. I noticed that as a being he was as hard as some metal a UFO may be made of. He comes across as something so manufactured, so deliberate, as to be not real.
The crowd adored him and were so excited to see him, whoops and hollers to his faux shy dips of the head in recognition to the adulation.
Later he disappeared into the building to be separated off from the common attendees behind velvet ropes and dedicated sea org minions, where he deigned to be photographed with the VIPs, the big donors, and their families.
I wonder if the kids, still innocent in the ways of pretending, or of self delusion, saw him as he is? Or did they follow their parents lead and gush and fawn?
I had a knife in my pocket. There to clean my fingernails, but reminding me to be careful around his security, some obvious, some not so. Wouldn't want the wrong idea to take fire.
I didn't carry out my fantasy, to call out in a lull in his spiel, "WHERE'S SHELLY? WHERE'S HEBER?" I would have been lynched. Or at least spoiled the day for people I have sympathy for. They were well protected, these scientologists, these experts at communication. Eight foot tall fences kept the public from viewing the event, or from saying something that was too gruesome to receive as communication. Scientology kills! Or L Ron Hubbard lies!
Irony in the extreme, how protected, or excluded scientologists need to be, when they think they are the only ones who can save the planet. Save it from What? Themselves? Or more at save it for themselves. And discard, without sorrow, the undeserving who do not recognize the gift offered by by scientology and thus don't deserve it, or consideration as fellow humans, or at least being heard as such.
I wonder if there will be repercussions for writing this? I wish that those who will be hurt by it and shun me for it, could understand how I came to think and feel this way, when I have been as much a true believer as them.
I wonder if I am 1.1 for having gone, with all my thoughts about things being wrong in the church? I was certainly covert, clapping in the right moments, smiling and making conversation..I didn't feel false, or really even hostile. I like the people, like the goals, like the concepts. I had to see for myself though, who Miscavige is, and where the church stands.
It now has very nice quarters, but did it lose its soul?
David, call me, I'll buy us some mexican food and a few beers and we'll talk openly, if you can confront it. First thing I'd ask though is, where is your wife.